9 | Timeless Lessons Learned with Nell Patten Roquemore

Today is a very special and personal episode to me. For our session today, I’ve invited over my grandmother to share with us a whole bunch of important life lessons she’s accumulated and learned throughout her 97 years on God’s green earth. From growing up with a love for music, to taking inspiration from her husband and dedicating her life in service of others-- all for the glory of God.

Be sure to listen in as this episode features her commencement speech for the Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College, sprinkled with little inspiring stories from her life!

Episode Highlights:

• Nell’s childhood, growing up in the arts-- particularly music
• Her marriage and meeting her husband, Bill
• Getting involved with her community, becoming a community leader
• The Milltown Murals and “Lila”
• Her message for people contemplating marriage, the 3 A’s and 3 C’s
• It is never too late for change

Lessons I Have Learned Through the Years by Nell Patten Roquemore

Through the years, I have learned a few valuable lessons that I want to share with you. Hopefully, you graduating students may find them helpful in starting out your adult life. 

I was born in 1924 in Milltown, before it became Lakeland. As a child, I was painfully shy. As a teenager, I was still very shy, especially with boys. Had it not been for a boy named Bill Roquemore, I probably would have ended up an old maid. Bill and I had a blessed marriage, although it was not perfect, and we added considerably to the population of Georgia and South Carolina.

Music has always been an important element of my life. My mother started me in piano lessons when I was about six years old. When I was ten she decided I should learn to play the violin. At age twelve I played at my first wedding. At about thirteen I played at my second wedding: Ellene Jones and Monroe Atkinson. Sixty-five years later I played at Monroe’s funeral. I am still playing at church every Sunday, and occasionally at weddings and funerals. 

I have enjoyed attending the ABAC Concert Band performances for the past several years, and am impressed with the quality of your music program. I hope that those of you who have performed in the various ABAC musical events will keep your talent alive throughout your life. Music provides a constant joy to your everyday existence.

One lesson I have learned is that big things can happen where there is encouragement and cooperation. 

Getting back to Bill Roquemore: He was my devoted husband as well as my mentor. As a World War II B-26 pilot, he had assumed great responsibility while still a teenager. He became a citizen of Lakeland a few years after we married, became editor of the Lanier County News, and turned into an outstanding community leader. He encouraged me to take part in community and civic affairs, while raising our five children and working full-time.

My first effort, at Bill’s suggestion, was to organize a county-wide cleanup campaign. Under the auspices of the Lanier County Garden Club, county agent John Strickland and I co-chaired an organization that came to be known as “Lila”, standing for “Let’s Improve Lanier’s Appearance.” John was the husband of ABAC’s beloved journalism professor Helen Strickland.  We recruited a representative of each target area, such as churches, cemeteries, old abandoned cars, roadsides, schools, etc. The committee met regularly and scheduled a certain week to concentrate on each phase of the campaign. Because of the enthusiasm of the committee and profuse publicity in the Lanier County News, the campaign was hugely successful and won state and national awards.

Although “Lila” is now forty-eight years old, her very small committee still meets monthly. You may have seen our “Milltown Murals” in Lakeland. That project was initiated by “Lila”, who continues to grow, maintain, and underwrite the murals.

My employment history included school teacher, clerk of the draft board, medical secretary at Moody Air Force Base, and Lakeland postmaster.  After my retirement as Postmaster, Bill decided I should run for city councilman, which I did, serving two years as chairman of the sanitation committee.

I have learned that preserving family history is extremely important. One of the most rewarding projects of my life was compiling a family history, “Roots, Rocks and Recollections.” That led to compiling a county history, “Lanier County: The Land and Its People.”  These two books have proven to be well worth the nineteen years I spent working on them.

I have learned that golf is an important sport. Bill and I had thought, like many non-golfers, that chasing a little white ball around for half a day was a foolish waste of time. Bill was forced to take up the game when he started building golf courses. It was not long before he was hooked. Soon, I took up the game, and we played regularly for many years. Through golf, we renewed old friendships and gained new friends who enriched the rest of our lives. Incidentally, it’s pretty good exercise if you walk a lot.

Some of you in this graduating class will soon be contemplating marriage. There is a wonderful rule for a successful marriage that I learned too late to apply to my own marriage but I urge you to make a note of it: The three A’s: Affection, Admiration, and Appreciation.

And then there are the three C’s, which I learned from my son Jim, who had taken the Dale Carnegie Course as a young man and found it of great benefit in his life and career. The three C’s are: Don’t Criticize, Don’t Condemn, and Don’t Complain.

Two important lessons I have learned through the years are easy:  Smile at people and always say “Thank you” when it is deserved.

It is never too late to change your direction. I had joined the Baptist Church at age 11 at a revival, along with my sister and brother and 13 others, mostly children. Bro. Johnny Harrell baptized us in the southeast corner of Lake Irma. I have gone to Sunday school and church for many years. But something was lacking in my spiritual life. Three and a half years ago, at age 89, I asked the Lord to come into my heart and take complete charge of my life. I wish I had done that a long time ago.

I like Dr. Wayne Hanna’s favorite scripture: Psalm 37: 4: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Thank you so much for listening! See you on our next episode!